
Counselling Series
Moving Forward… Communicating in a Healthy Manner
Communication is an integral part of our daily life; have you ever felt:
Communication is so much more than just talking. It involves being able to listen, to hear, to validate what is being said. We can then understand more clearly what other people are saying.
It involves being able to effectively communicate our feelings and thoughts, where we take responsibility for our own emotions; our own thoughts; and to be able to speak these calmly and precisely in a clear non-threatening manner.
LEARN THE ART OF COMMUNICATION – AS IT WILL SERVE YOUR WELL
WITHIN ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE!
Do you say YES to PLEASE others, and don’t know how to say NO.
Do you ever stop and ask yourself, what is really OK and what is really NOT OK for me!
What is stopping you from being honest with yourself? What is stopping you from realizing that it is ok to say NO at times – setting your own boundaries within your own life, of being able to express and say what you really mean without feeling guilty or fearful.
Healthy boundaries enable us to define ourselves.
Healthy boundaries create healthy relationships.
Moving Forward… You Are Not Your AngerAnger is a healthy emotion when we express it in a healthy way.
It is how we express it that either makes it healthy or unhealthy. By becoming more aware of our own process, that is how we physiologically and psychologically deal with anger, enables us to take control of our anger and to choose how we want to express it.
We cannot blame others for our own anger or annoyance or frustrations. For we are responsible for our own emotions which come from within us – no one else is responsible for them. We may not like them – what we need to do is to understand why we may feel these emotions and to learn to express them in a healthy and better way.
We need to recognise that we have choices in how we want to express these emotions of anger and to learn to express them in a healthy way.
Moving Forward… Emotional AwarenessOur emotions are a valuable source of information. They help us make healthy decisions within our lives.
When we identify our emotions and feelings, it is a step along the path of personal growth and development, as our emotions enable us to communicate our feelings, our needs and our thoughts.
When we trust our emotions and feelings, we feel confident in expressing ourselves assertively. We can express these in more ways than one way – when we are feeling good – good may mean ecstatic, or it may mean happy, and the more we can express them on a deeper level what the feeling is, the more we validate ourselves and how we feel, so that other people that we are communicating with can also understand on a deeper level what it is that we are feeling.
By being Emotional Aware, we recognize not only our own feelings but also the feelings of others. We are able to motivate ourselves to move forward within our own journey of life, while managing our emotions healthily within ourselves and within our relationships.
Moving Forward… From Rejection to Reclaiming YOUPeople do not reject you. They reject what it is that you have to say, what it is that you have to offer.
We are the only ones who can stop the negative effects of rejection; it is within our power to do so, to take control of these emotions and to turn them into positive thoughts and feelings.
When we are feeling totally dependent within yourself for how we feel – of being self reliant, we will not feel these feelings of rejection, as we are totally secure with who we are!
Moving Forward…..Inner Child Work
When children experience trauma at the hands of trusted adults, their emotional link with the adult world is severed, creating an emotional ‘stop in time’. They are left with three unhealthy companions – guilt; fear; and feelings of inadequacy. These three companions can stay on throughout their adult life governing part or their entire decision making. Therefore:
To love that child within unconditionally is to touch all aspects of ourselves in a healthy, healing way.
To allow that child to be part of our world, today, tomorrow and forever, is embracing the true self as one.
Moving Forward… New Ways of ThinkingBecome aware of your thoughts and what it is that you are saying to yourself and know that you have the power within you to change this if you so choose to!
Have you ever stopped and listened to your thoughts and what they are saying to you?
Negative thoughts can be repetitive and intrude into your life. They are unrealistic, irrational and unproductive to what it is that we want to be and what it is that we want to achieve.
Much of what we feel is caused by what we tell ourselves, how we think, the ways in which we choose to interpret situations, and our own personal points of view.
Empower yourself by turning your thoughts around so that they become healthy for you!
Moving Forward…..Reducing Stress & Anxiety in Your Life
By becoming more mindful of how you feel, you can become more mindful of your stress and anxiety levels within your body and your mind.
Recognise your own signs and symptoms of stress and anxiety and look at what it is that you need to do for yourself.
One of the most important and really simply techniques is simply to stop and to bring your awareness to your breathing. Take a few deep breaths and allow the air to flow deep within the body and then feel the air being pushed back out of the body. Bring your mindfulness into how it feels to breathe. Do this for at least 3 big breaths.
This simply technique will assist with your stress and anxiety levels.
Remember that each day is a gift – we will never be given this day again – so make the most of it, SMILE, LAUGH AND BE HAPPY!
Moving Forward… Working With DepressionDepression is an illness that can seriously affect all aspects of a person’s life.
Each person that experiences depression will have their own symptoms, as no two persons will have the same feelings and thoughts.
When you are feeling depressed, there are some things which you can do that will assist you:
Don’t isolate yourself - get help while you still can, the longer you wait the harder it gets.
Moving Forward… Embracing Your Loss and GriefGrief, Loss, Bereavement are all ok emotions. They open up an intense range of feelings which we are uncomfortable with, but within the grieving process they are quite normal.
By becoming more aware of these emotions, how we feel, how we think, will assist us through the loss that has taken place within our life.
We need to remember that not two people will express the same emotions or the same depth of emotions through the grieving process, as we are all unique individuals learning to come to terms with our own personal loss.
Grieving is a NORMAL process and we need to accept that this is the case and that it will take as long as it needs to take for that individual, whether it is 6 months or whether it is 5 years.
Each person will experience what they need to, which will enable them to move forward healthily within their own lives, within their own time frame.
Moving Forward… With Healthy Self-Esteem and Self-ConfidenceSelf Esteem is how you feel about yourself. It’s knowing and affirming that you are Valuable, Worthwhile and Capable. It gives you a sense of your own identity – “Who Am I”. Of acknowledging and defining that deeper inner part of who you are.
Self Acceptance is believing in yourself, acknowledging your weaknesses and looking for solutions to improve these – of moving forward positively within your own life.
Self Confidence is how you feel about what it is that you do – the actions or tasks that you undertake each day. Of valuing your abilities and what it is that you have to offer the community at large.
It also means having an inner SELF ASSURANCE and a SELF BELIEF of your abilities and what it is that you have to offer to yourself and to others.
The first step in creating a healthy relationship is the willingness to work at it and the effort that you are prepared to put into it.
How committed am I to my relationship?
How well do I communicate within my relationship?
How well do I work as a valued team member within the relationship?
For relationships are where you are:
Friendship is to be truly accepted for who we are, without judgment, criticism or rejection.
Moving Forward… Your Children and You
Your Children and You looks at effective ways of parenting, incorporating a holistic approach to the family, exploring solutions which are successful on moving forward together in a healthy manner within the family dynamics.
The aim of working through Your Children and You is to help you with:
Moving Forward… Achieving Personal Positive Goals
A goal is something that is concrete, it is solid – it has a beginning and an ending. It is specific, measurable, achievable and realistic.
Ask Yourself the Following Questions
Are you getting what it is that you want out of life?
What is it that you want to achieve that you already are not?
Where do you want to be this time next year?
Where do you want to be this time in 5 years time?
How are you going to do this?
What do you need to learn or to put in place to be able to do this?
What is currently preventing you from achieving these goals?
What do you need to do to overcome these obstacles?
Goals are used to map out what it is that we want within our lives. It gives us a sense of purpose, achievement and direction as to where we want to be what we want!
Moving Forward… With HappinessWhat does happiness mean to you? Have you ever stopped and pondered upon where happiness comes from? Is it an external feeling that we grab hold of or is it an internal feeling that we strive to achieve within ourselves.
Ask the question – what does happiness mean to me? Think about it for a moment.
For true happiness comes from within – it is a state of being one with one’s own self. Of feeling complete and whole with who you are and what you do in life.
Moving Forward… Successfully Managing Your TimeWhen this day is gone, we may look back and think if only I had more time to achieve what it is that I wanted to achieve…….
SO the question I am asking is what are you doing with your time right now!!!!
We are only given this moment of time to fully live life to the fullest. We can not change what has taken place in the past, so it is no good worrying about the past, we can not live in the future, for we are not there yet, the only thing we can do is to live this moment to the best of what we can!
Therefore:
Create your own action plan of what it is that you need to be doing within all aspects of yourlife, so that you are living your dream